What is it really like growing up bilingual
Spoiler alert: English is not one of my native languages.
I was born in Korea. My parents were both studying at the university in Rome so I was brought to Italy right after my baek-il. As they were both working students, they put me in a nursery school run by Spanish nuns. Italian friends of my parents came to pick me up after school. I was exposed to three different languages during those early months.
As a result, when all the other kids started to speak I was silent. My mother feared that there was something wrong with me or that I could have some sort of mental deficiency. If you search for “speech delay in children grown up in multilingual environments” (or something in the likes) the scientific opinion is divided: some say it doesn’t occur, some say it does. Having met others like me, I can say with confidence that they’re both true and it was in my case anyway.
When I finally started to mumble my first words, I couldn’t understand which language should I have used and where. My mother recalls times where I started to speak in Spanish and naturally she couldn’t understand me. I suspect that I used the wrong language in other contexts too. I don’t remember any of this, I’m relying on the truthfulness of those around me who recount those early years.
Apart from that bumpy start, I don’t remember giving much thought about the ability to switch language effortlessly. Sure, it was cool to be able to speak in either Italian or Korean to have a private conversation (sorry, not sorry) and it still is. I started to give this matter proper attention when others pointed out how I jumped from one language to another several times in the span of one phrase when talking on the phone with my parents. That’s when I realised that what was normal for me wasn’t for the rest of the people I know.
There are tons of articles around the internet explaining the social and/or the working perks of being bilingual, so I’m not adding anything to that. What I do want to add is my personal experience, what it feels like.
The privilege of belonging to two different cultures
A language is not just a set of words and expressions. With it come traditions, customs, culture and art, and I feel privileged to having been made privy of all that. I love seeing where these two cultures meet and where they stand at opposite sides. I have two sets of festivities (which make you busy all year round).
More than that, I’ve noticed that it imprinted a particular mindset when dealing with situations and people: it taught me the importance of diversity. I learned that, almost unknowingly, trying to understand different point of views is key. Whether we do it consciously or unconsciously, we all think about things with our minds steered by stereotypes. I’m not saying that it’s because I grew up with this kind of culture mixing but also because of this that when I’m letting a stereotype pop into my mind, I’m very quick at thinking that there must be other readings to it.
My mother taught me the language and the basics of my Korean heritage but it was in later years that I fully appreciated it and I confess of being much more rigid as a teenager. In addition to the standard teenage-parents relationship ups and downs, I was experiencing our two cultures clashing and language misunderstandings.
Don’t get me wrong, it still happens. But now that I feel them both in my bones, it’s easier for me to try and explain what I’m saying, in two different ways. I constantly “borrow” things from here and there to improve my communication skills and when my Italian or Korean peers say something or suggest ideas, I understand where they’re coming from.
Your mind focuses on concepts rather than words
This is harder to explain but nevertheless, I’ll make a go of it. Think of an object, like a pen for example. Most people almost immediately associate the object to the word (exception made for those cases where you don’t remember the word and it sits on the tip of the tongue until you called everyone you know, researched every book you possess and spent sleepless nights trying to remember it, only for it to appear in your mind out of the blue several months later… but I wouldn’t know that) while I’m used to thinking about a language as being more fluid, so I’d probably think of ideas and concepts before associating words, if I really have to.
Most of the times, I weigh carefully every word that comes out of my mouth, because I want to be sure to be using the right one; also because while in the middle of a speech the word I’m supposed to say pops into my head in another language. Go figure.
You absorb languages
There is a reason why it is preferred to start learning languages as a kid. Because it’s easier, period. When you get accustomed to the fact that languages don’t have the same structure and they have different sounds, and you do this at an early age, your brain adjusts itself accordingly.
So, whenever I learned a new language (English for instance), I found it easier to pick up the rules, often just by listening rather than studying grammar (Past tense? Present perfect? What is that???).
You have a preferred language
I would be lying if I said that I spoke Italian and Korean to the same extent. It’s common sense really if you think about it.
I’ve lived most of my life in Italy, I speak Italian every day. When I read, I do it in either Italian or English. Korean is dormant most of the days and I would also say that my vocabulary is very small. For example, I’m writing this post in English, I didn’t write it in Italian or Korean and then translated it. I wouldn’t probably be able to do this in Korean without checking the vocabulary every two minutes. But.
Do you know that thing that happens when you’re doing something and someone’s talking next to you and even if you’re not actively listening you hear what they’re saying? I have that in Italian and Korean, but with English, I have to apply at least a little bit of concentration in order to pick up phrases and words.
Your persona has different nuances according to the language
Ok, this one might seem a little bit weird but hear me out. I have noticed that whenever I speak Korean, I’m much more sweet and calm. Even my voice has a slightly higher tone than usual, I’m less sarcastic and much more silent.
On the other hand, when I speak Italian my voice lowers, I’m much more talkative and I make a lot of jokes, especially sarcastic ones.
I’m always the same person, my thinking and my ideas remain unchanged. I don’t change my personality just like that but it’s like I cover one side of a spectrum with one language and vice versa.
I have not written this post to say how cool it is to be bilingual, I just felt to write about bilingualism from the inside perspective and not from the scientific point of view that you can easily find online.
I might add something else in the future, or not. Who knows?
